Last Thursday was a follow up to check that the 2 tiny holes have more or less closed up. I dread putting her through the scan so soon but due to her sleeping habit(extra long hours), I was worried that it has got something to do with the holes in the heart .
This time, she was wailing very badly and looked like she was going into fits. A look at the syringe, I saw that there's still half a syringe of drug to administer. That's when I couldn't hold my tears anymore. I was tearing badly now, in the clinic full of parents and children. And there's no one with me, just myself and the baby. I had to use the tissue which I'm suppose to clean her mouth with, to wipe away my tears.
I was pretty embarrassed for crying. But the crying made me realised that I've bond with the baby. The experience at the clinic was very emotional draining. After we left the clinic, I was traumatised and couldn't stop worrying about her. She slept for another 5 hours. The holes in the heart have more or less closed up and there's only a gap which we will follow up when she's 1 yr old.
Next time, I will make sure that hubby witness it too.